Overcome Anger through Kindness

Newly-wed Uttara was not very happy in her new household, for although she loved to prepare alms food for the Buddha and his disciples, she was too busy looking after the needs of her new husband to do so. She complained to her father about it and he, feeling sorry for her, sent her some money.

Uttara then asked her husband if she could use it to hire a maidservant who would look after him while she used her own time to prepare alms food for the Buddha and his monks. The husband agreed and a maidservant was employed.

One day, while Uttara was busily preparing food for one of her merit-making ceremonies, her husband happened to pass by the kitchen. Seeing his wife so happily engaged, he thought to himself, “What a foolish little woman! She should be enjoying herself instead of working so hard.” And he smiled at her affectionately.

When the maidservant saw his smile, she forgot that she was only a hired hand, and in a fit of jealousy, took a pot of hot boiling butter from the stove to pour over Uttara.When Uttara realized what the maid was going to do, she made this resolution: “Let the butter scald me only if I bear any ill-will toward my maidservant.”

But ill-will was far from the heart of Uttara. Instead, she felt only loving kind ness and gratitude toward her maid, for Uttara realized that without her, she would not have been able to carry out all of her merit-making activities.

Consequently, the hot butter simply rolled off Uttara’s body like drops of cold water. When Uttara’s attendants realized what the maid had done, they seized her and started hitting her from all sides. Uttara immediately ordered them to stop. The maid then realized that she was in no position to be jealous of Uttara. Feeling ashamed, she asked Uttara for forgiveness.

Later when the Buddha learned what had happened, he praised Uttara for having conquered anger by loving kindness. He further instructed his listeners that abuse should be conquered by non-abuse, selfishness by generosity, and lying by speaking the truth.

Overcome anger through kindness, wickedness through goodness, selfishness through charity, and falsehood through truthfulness.

(From Dhammapada Stories)